Amy's Blog

I try to take a trip to celebrate my birthday every year as a part of the birthday month celebration. This year, I had been scouting out for things to do that were affordable and that wouldn’t keep me away from work for too long.

Everyone knows that I have many boyfriends, Bradley Cooper, Channing Tatum, Bill Rancic, etc, etc. Well this time, I was scouting for my British love, Chris Martin. Coldplay didn’t put a Kansas City date on the Mylo Xyloto tour, so I thought about trying to travel to see them on the tour as a part of my birthday month festivities.

They were playing at the United Center in Chicago on August 7th and 8th, and in Minneapolis/St. Paul on August 10th. I thought that driving up to MN would be cheaper than flying into Chicago, especially if I could find someone that wanted to make the trip with me. So, thank goodness for Facebook, I posted, “who wants to go and see Coldplay” and right away I got a response from a friend in Lawrence. She said that she would love to go and I sent her all of the details. No dice she said, as she would be in Chicago on business that entire week.

WHAT??? I was ecstatic! I explained that they would be playing two shows that week and it would be perfect. She responded with an invite for me to share her free hotel room. UMMM…FREE hotel room, downtown Chicago, and my boyfriend Chris Martin??? Does the birthday month schedule GET any better? On top of it all my friend also had another friend that would be meeting us in the city and we just happen to share the same birthday. BONUS!

So, it was settled, I booked my travel and was headed to Chi! The only bad news was that tickets to see my boyfriend were astronomically expensive. I mean, I couldn’t drool over Chris Martin in nosebleeds, right?? I didn’t worry about it, I would figure this out. Where there is a will, there is a way!

As the new year gets off to a decent start, I’d like to use my blog to thank some people for their love and support during a challenging 2011. 

I was promoted to a new position at my company in October of 2010, so 2011 got off to a challenging start as I learned the new position, managed my time, tried to find work/life balance, and study for a rigorous professional exam. 

In July, I was home celebrating Independence Day with Grandma when she had a stroke in the dining room at breakfast.  It was devastating.  The next several months of Grandma’s recovery were very tough on our entire family, especially me because we have been so close for so long.  Grandma has slowed down a lot since July, and it has been an adjustment for all of us. 

Those that are close to me know that stress management is not always my strong suit. 

There are a lot of people that have helped me through the last few months.  First of all, Grandma’s siblings and their spouses have been fantastic.  They were there at the hospital the day of the stroke, and have been there for me every step of the way with phone calls, emails, and words of encouragement about the test and Grandma’s recovery.  Secondly, Grandma’s nieces, my cousins have also been an incredible source of support for me with their phone calls, texts, emails, and just lending an ear to listen and a shoulder to cry on. 

I have a core group of Kansas City friends who have also been great to me over the last several months. Putting up with me stressing out, being socially unavailable, and lending their expertise in various fields related to psychology and stroke recovery. 

There are also a handful of colleagues who have kept in touch and helped me get through the professional exam and always ask how Grandma is doing with a genuine care and concern. 

I am so thankful and appreciative of all of the love and support that so many family, friends, and colleagues have shown to me over the last several months.  You have definetely made the tough times not seem so tough.  I hope that I can continue to show you how grateful that I am for you. 

One of my best friends in Kansas City is also a trusted colleague in a professional association that I belong to.  We share ideas when it comes to personal and professional development.  He introduced me to the Napoleon Hill Foundation and the books, Think and Grow Rich, and Three Feet From Gold.  I signed up for a daily emial from the NHF.  The email contains a thought or quote related to personal and professional development.  This morning’s was just timely and made me think and I just wanted to share it. 

Friends must be grown to order — not taken for granted.

Your friends will be what you make them. If you are the kind of friend who freely gives of your time and always shows consideration for others, your friends will be generous and kind. If you are the kind of person who takes your friends for granted, neither giving nor expecting much in return, you will attract friends who exhibit the same qualities. In friendship, like attracts like. Assess your behavior occasionally to determine what kind of friend you are. Are you the kind of person you would like to have as a friend? Do you freely give more than you expect in return, or are you always asking and never giving? Do you take the time to stay in touch, to remember friends’ special occasions? When you become so consumed with your own interests that you forget about your friends, you are well on your way to becoming friendless.

I can’t believe it is already time to say goodbye to another year and hello to a new year.  I always welcome the new year as a clean slate of sorts.  2010 has been great, but I’m looking forward to 2011.

This year, I kept busy with my career, volunteer work, spending time with friends at concerts, baseball and football games, KSU happy hours, running, discovering great books, meeting great people, and developing some very valuable personal and professional relationships.

January of this year was a bit of a blur, as it usually is. I stay busy with work and not much else during that time. 

I spent February enjoying the success of the KSU Men’s Basketball team, watching games with friends on evenings and weekends.  I had time to spend with family attending Aunt Eileen’s 80th birthday party and Ashley’s bridal shower.  I always look forward to trips back to St. Mary’s when time allows.  I also hosted a small group of friends for a dinner party where I made mango glazed salmon and apricot  glazed chicken. We had a great time eating, drinking, and socializing. 

I stayed busy during the entire first quarter with work, FPA, and commitments at SafeHome while making time for March Madness.  One of the highlights of the month of March was sitting 11th row at the Sprint Center for one of my favorite artists, John Mayer. He put on an AWESOME show and just KILLED on guitar.  I took some great pictures. 

April brought more concerts…Taylor Swift who was really entertaining and Nickelback with Breaking Benjamin.  Spring time also brought several trips to the K and a trip to Manhattan for the KSU Spring game.  I also decided to get back into running and take my health and fitness more seriously again.  I was getting great reports from all of my doctors and I started signing up for one charity race per month. I ran the four mile Trolley Run at the end of April. 

I went to Milwaukee for a weekend in May to attend Angie’s wedding.  Fun with the newly formed Brunch Club continued as the weather warmed up. 

In June I had the pleasure of co-hosting Ashley’s baby shower with her sister and sister-in-law.  I traveled to Oklahoma with Sister Ginger for our annual Slavin family reunion. That was an interesting and event filled trip for her 80th birthday. 

The highlight of July was definitely Brittney’s surprise birthday party at the Hook Gallery with the Brunch Club and Vi Tran. Our company got the opportunity to give free financial planning advice one weekend to consumers at Crown Center and Oak Park Mall. 

We celebrated my birthday in August with a trip to Dallas, a fundraiser and steak and sushi dinner, and a trip to Cleveland to visit Uncle Bob and his family.  That was definitely an unforgettable month filled with memorable experiences.  I also started training for my first ever half-marathon. 

My usual once per semester trip to Manhattan to speak to the Institute of Personal Financial Planning at KSU happened in September.  I always enjoy returning to campus and connecting with the students there and am grateful for the opportunity to share my experiences as a young financial planning professional.  I tailgated at Arrowhead with friends during my first ever Chiefs Monday Night Football experience. The weather was great and we had a blast.  I had the pleasure of hosting Mako and Walt’s Bon Voyage and we celebrated Mako’s birthday at Californos right before the big destination wedding.

October was a whirlwind.  The month kicked off with an appearance at the annual American Royal BBQ after our FPA 2nd annual Career Day.  I had a minor setback with my leg injury but was still able to enjoy the KC Marathon cheering on my friends in the beautiful 70 degree weather.  We added a new team member at our firm and then I was lucky enough to receive a promotion the very same week. What an incredible opportunity! Since then, the last two and a half months have been a blur of learning my new role, client meetings, and just staying busy.

Our annual FPA leadership conference took place in Denver in November.  I was also able to squeeze in a really nice visit over dinner with Susan.  The weather in Denver was beautiful that weekend and I had a great time connecting with FPA colleagues all over the country.  Helping facilitate the Membership Director’s track at the conference was an awesome learning experience and I appreciated the opportunity to share ideas with others who are passionate about the financial planning profession. 

December flew by.  I had fun celebrating Christmas with the Brunch Club, Stepp & Rothwell, and my family. 

Heres to another busy and fun-filled year!

Happy New Year!

I haven’t taken the time to post in about six weeks.  I appreciate all of the calls, texts, emails, and Facebook messages of all who have been checking up on me.  I thought I would use this post to give an update to those who are kind enough to care!

Where was I six weeks ago?…I was training for the Kansas City half marathon and sustained an injury six days before the race during training. https://amymariekc.wordpress.com/2010/10/14/roadblock-to-13-1/ I was pretty upset and in a funk for quite sometime.  But, I was able to enjoy the beautiful weather in downtown Kansas City that Saturday as I cheered on my friends.  One of which, happens to be one of my favorite local musicians and first time half-er, Vi Tran. http://www.vitranmusic.com/ I’ve been in therapy with an awesome sports injury doc…it is slow going, but hopefully I can get back to where I was sooner rather than later.  Not exercising on a regular basis has really thrown off my whole routine.

Shortly after the run, I had another unexpected surprise come up. I started working at the firm as an intern during the summer between my junior and senior year at KSU.  I was very fortunate to get a job with the same company full-time after graduation. Every year, my role has expanded with increased responsibilities.  The Principals at the firm offered me a promotion in mid-October. http://www.bizjournals.com/kansascity/potm/2010-11-19/#364861   After five years of growing and learning and doing what I love,  it was truly an awesome opportunity.  The transition has been rather labor intensive, and I have a lot yet to do, but I’m looking forward to what my professional future holds. 

I made a trip to Denver in early November which marked the beginning of another professional transition. I attended a leadership conference and was able to visit a cousin while on the trip.  I am entering my fourth year of service on the board of a local professional association that our firm belongs to.  After five years on the Membership committee, two as the director of Membership, I am passing the torch to a fellow colleague. The transition is bittersweet. The timing is great because I just don’t have the time to devote to the initiatives, but, I have a real passion for our profession and enhancing our members’ experience, that it will be tough to give the job up.  I will be assuming the role of director of Partnerships where I will be in charge of building and maintaining relationships with our chapter partners.  I am also continuing my work as the chair of our regional conference that we will host in the Spring of 2011. I’ve throughly enjoyed the service to my profession and am looking forward to continuing my volunteer work within the industry. 

I am continuing my volunteer work at St. Ann and am enjoying my work as chair of the Finance Council and my responsibilities as a Saturday Mass lector. 

The Chiefs are off and on this season. I’ve been lucky enough to make it out to a few games this season to tailgate with some great friends and enjoy football and good weather.  We most recently celebrated the birthdays of two good friends at the Cardinals game where we enjoyed 60+ degree weather in the middle of November in Missouri!

I had another good friend get some good news of his own this week…..its nice to see fellow KSU alums expereince success after graduation.  He was promoted at the firm he has worked at for four years.  Good stuff!

I can’t believe how fast the end of the year has snuck up on me….it is already December and time to start thinking about winter and Christmas.  I’m  hoping that I can spend some more time with Grandma this month.

Most people that know me know that I am a practicing Catholic (or at least I try to be).  My paternal grandfather was German Catholic and my grandmother is Irish Catholic.  My dad was raised in a very Catholic household with a Catholic education.  Despite the religious influences in my parents’ upbringing, they chose not to raise my siblings and me as Catholics.  Instead, they tried to teach us the importance and meaning of the bible and prayer.  I was baptized in a Protestant church and we spent our years “church hopping”….from Baptist, non-denominational, to no church at all, I never felt at home or totally comfortable in the three to four churches that I can remember attending although I made several friends. 

On the flip side, I grew up having a close relationship with my dad’s mom and our extended family.  I spent many school breaks and vacations with my grandma attending Mass and many Catholic weddings and funerals.  When I went away to college, I naturally gravitated toward the Catholic campus center and then was later confirmed as an adult. 

Although I don’t agree with 100% of the Church’s teachings and I am 100% accepting of all religions and have never tried to force my beliefs on others, there are several reasons why I love the Catholic church. The Church brings my family together through baptisms, confirmations, weddings, funerals, anniversaries, etc. The Church is universal, so I know that no matter where I am, I can find a “home” in the Church. 

Grandma’s sister, Ginger, has been a Sister of Saint Joseph of Concordia, KS for more than 50 years.  She is pretty well known in the Church having taught and been involved in various capacities in several parishes and schools around the Midwest. She called me on Saturday morning and told me that one of the parishes where she taught 20-25 years ago was celebrating their 100 year anniversary.  Sister Ginger taught at St. Joseph’s parish for six years and made a lot of friends there.  She asked if I would attend the celebration at the Intercontinental hotel on the Plaza with her on Saturday evening.  I’m so glad that I took her up on the invitation. I learned so much about our Church’s history that I didn’t even know existed.

St. Joseph’s was a parish in the Kansas City-St. Joseph diocese, but merged with another parish in 1995 to form St. Monica Catholic Church.  St. Monica was an African woman.  According to history, because Christianity has its roots in the Mediterranean, it spread across Northern Africa.  For instance, Ethiopia was Christianized before Western Europe.  Because there were so many African Catholics, a lot of slaves that were brought to the United States were Catholic.  However, the traditions were often lost because they were unable to practice or chose not to because their owners were Protestant-mostly Baptist. 

In 1910, the Bishop of the Kansas City diocese decided that there needed to be an outreach effort to the 35,000 black people that lived in the city.  There were about 35 black Catholics with no money that started a mission in East Kansas City, MO.  The community grew and evolved into what is now St. Monica’s Catholic Church in the Jazz District at 16^th & The Paseo.  I learned all of this history at the centennial celebration that we attended.  The evening started off with a social hour/mixer followed by a plated banquet style dinner, a keynote address given by a priest from Atlanta, and recognition of many of the parish volunteers .

I have to say that I was very surprised to be in a room with so many black people that were culturally so different from me who I shared the Catholic faith with.  I can’t say that I’ve ever met any black people in my home parish. It was so interesting to see how my aunt, also culturally and physically unlike these people had formed such strong bonds with so many people in their community.  I met so many interesting people who for the most part, were extremely friendly and welcoming.  Everyone was so excited to reunite with Sister Ginger and to meet one of her nieces.  I met a man, the parish videographer who referred to Sister Ginger as his “angel”. One woman told me that 21 years ago, her son was two weeks old and he was so ill that the doctors said that he would not make it through the night.  Their pastor was out of town, so Sister Ginger came, prayed with the family, and baptized the baby.  The baby is now 21 years old in his sophomore year at Mizzou.

I was interested enough in the parish and its people that I decided to attend the celebration Mass the next morning.  Throughout the entire 2 ½ hour Mass (yes, TWO AND A HALF HOURS!), I was in a state of utter confusion.  I didn’t know if I was at a Catholic Mass, a Southern Baptist church service, or some sort of African celebration with drums and music.  9:00 Mass started at 9:10 with a full Gospel Choir, drums, guitar, organ, and keyboard, and liturgical dancers performing a dance that they call “praise dance”.  The liturgy went on with few minor things that I am not really accustomed to.  Then came the Homily given by the guest priest from Atlanta who had given the keynote address the evening before.  The priest jumped around on the altar and yelled and ran around and broke out in song…there was a lot going on.  He addressed us in the congregation several times as “Church”. Like, “Good Morning, Church.”  And, “Can I get an Amen, Church?” There were several times where members of the congregation would stand up and clap in the middle of his homily or shout out “uh huh”, or “AMEN”, etc. At the end of the Homily, the preacher started to sing and the entire choir and band chimed in and played for about 10 minutes.  I noticed several people wearing some sort of traditional African dress.

I’ve got my Catholic Mass traditions and rituals down pat. I know exactly what prayers to say when, when to respond, when to sit, stand, kneel, etc.  Let’s just say none of that mattered today. If the music was good, or someone said something from the altar that someone liked or agreed with, everyone would stand up and clap. During the Lord’s Prayer, everyone holds hands throughout the entire church.  I also noticed that a few of the words in the prayer that they recite is different from what I am used to. During the kiss of peace, the congregation turns into a mini social hour. People get out of there pews and walk around the entire church shaking hands, hugging, and greeting each other.  Two of  Sister Ginger’s friends came over to greet me.  They just laughed and said that I looked like I was in a state of culture shock.  They were right. I was experiencing culture shock and I was having a hard time processing everything around me. Then the Deacon read the intentions and then gave people an opportunity to call out their own intentions. This was something that I had never seen at Mass before. 

Instead of the ushers passing the offering basket, everyone has to process up to the altar and drop their offering into a giant basket.  I HATED that. I’ve seen it done in other non-Catholic churches before and it makes me very uncomfortable.  Mass eventually ended with more music and the liturgical dancers danced to Amazing Grace.  All and all this was a very interesting experience.

I would definitely like to go back and attend Mass on a day when they don’t have all of the added elements that they had in honor of the centennial celebration. I’d like to experience what it is like on a “normal” Sunday.  I’m also surprised, impressed, and grateful for the Catholic presence on The Paseo.

A couple of weeks ago, Grandma called and said that she had a “serious” talk with her younger sister, my great aunt, Sister Ginger Pearl, CSJ. Grandma is 87 and the oldest of six kids…Marj, Jim (deceased), Bob, Maureen, Ginger, and Jerry. I was a bit nervous when I heard this.  As it turns out, Sister Ginger called to tell Grandma that she booked a flight to Cleveland to visit their brother, my Uncle Bob and his family. She told my grandma that she should also make the trip.

Grandma is a well traveled person. She has been to 49 of the 50 states, Europe, the Middle East, Mexico, Cuba, and probably other places I’ve missed. However, she has been forced to slow down quite a bit due to her age. So, the possibility of flying to Cleveland is a pretty big thing for her to consider.

When she called me earlier this month, she had made the decision to make the trip and said that I should go ahead and plan to come too. At the time it seemed like a stretch. I wasn’t sure that I had the time or money to go. But, I checked out flights and figured it was doable to leave after work on Friday and return home late Sunday evening.

I’ve posted in other blogs (https://amymariekc.wordpress.com/2010/06/30/26/) about our family’s Potawatomi heritage and how important it has been to Grandma and her siblings to pass that on to the younger generations in our family. I’ve also mentioned how close I have been to my grandma my entire life and how special her siblings, my great aunts and uncles and their families are to me.

The purpose of the trip was to attend a traditional Potawatomi Indian Naming ceremony. According to Sister Ginger, receiving an Indian name in Potawatomi culture is akin to our baptism as Catholics. Uncle Bob’s daughters decided they would like to hold a Naming ceremony in their dad’s back yard in Parma Heights, OH.

Uncle Bob has five daughters  four of which (Janet, Ellen, Maureen, and Erin) all live in the Cleveland and surrounding areas. His wife, my Aunt Joyce, passed away this Spring. Janet is the oldest in the family. Ellen has two children, Lakota and Elan. Lakota will start her 2nd year at Columbia this fall and Elan will begin his junior year in high school in Kent. Maureen has two children, Matt and Laura. Matt is my age and lives in Toledo and Laura lives in California. Erin is married to Rich and they have two of the cutest little boys in the world-Max and Maor ages 10 and 7.

The girls and Rich worked hard for several days researching the ceremony procedure, consulting with family and tribal elders, cooking, cleaning, and preparing Uncle Bob’s back yard for the ceremony. Ellen, Lakota, Elan, Maureen, Matthew, Erin, Max, and Maor prepared to get their Potawatomi names.

Sister Ginger suggested that Grandma and I make the trip and receive our Potawatomi names together with our Ohio relatives. I had no idea what a naming ceremony was or what it consisted of, but I decided to go ahead and make the trip- at that time for peace of mind so that I wasn’t here worrying while Grandma traveled, and because I was dying to see my Ohio relatives.

After I made my travel arrangements, I found out that the Chairman, or chief of the Citizen Band Potawatomi Nation (www.potwatomi.org) and the Vice Chairman, Rocky Barrett and Linda Capps, would be making the trip all the way from the tribal headquarters in Shawnee, OK to give us our Indian names.  Roy Slavin, a cousin of ours and a member of the CPN legislature would also be making the trip with his wife Julia.  Every day leading up to the trip I learned how important this ceremony is in the CPN culture. I was told to fill out a questionaire…a pyshological profile of sorts, that would assist Rocky and Linda in  coming up with a name for me. Looking back, I realize that I didn’t really do my best on the questionnaire and didn’t give them much to go on. 

In addition to filling out the forms, I had to secure one female and one male sponsor to stand up for me at the ceremony, much like parents choose godparents for their children at baptisim.  I decided that I would choose my Grandma because we would be getting named together, and she is the primary reason I have learned so much about CPN culture. She took us to the annual festival every year as kids and made sure that we got to spend time with my great aunts and uncles who also helped pass down their knowledge of the culture.  For my male sponsor, I wanted to choose Grandma’s brother, my Uncle Jim, but he passed away August 21st,  2008. It just so happened that we would be receiving our names on the second anniversary of his death. I felt like Uncle Jim  was the male with the most influence in terms of passing down the CPN heritage. He and Aunt Eileen were on all of the trips that we went on to festivals, dedications, etc.  Since I couldn’t choose Uncle Jim, I decided to choose Uncle Bob  since we would be receiving our names in his back yard.  Once I chose my sponsors and emailed Linda the forms, I was pretty much ready to make the trip, without knowing what to expect.

The plan is for this blog entry to be the first in a series of entries about my family leading up to my annual family reunion. I just came back from a trip to the reunion. 

Most people that know me pretty well know that I am not very close to my parents.  That naturally happened over several years given that I am the oldest of four in the family and there is a 16 year age difference between myself and my youngest sibling. Both of my parents were raised in single parent households in the 50s and 60s, which was not as common as it is today.  My mother’s mother died very young when I was 8 years old.  Her father has not been an active part of her life for many years. My mom has three siblings, and we have not stayed in touch over the years.  My father’s father was an absentee dad, so I never knew him. He passed away almost 10 years ago. 

That leaves my only grandparent, my dad’s mom. As a kid, my sister and I spent lots of time at Grandma’s house. We loved spending weekends and school breaks with her. We cooked, baked, played card games, visited patients at the nursing home, extended family, went out to eat, and traveled. Some of my favorite childhood memories involve trips to Grandma’s.  As I became an adult and graduated from college, Grandma and I stayed very close. She is one of my best friends.  Grandma will be 88 this year, and I am very thankful that she can still live alone and drive, and is in decent health.  Because I have spent my life having such a close relationship with Grandma, I have had the opportunity to get to know and become close with several members of my extended family. 

Grandma is the oldest of six children. Uncle Jim passed away almost two years ago. He and his wife were married 59 years and had five children. Uncle Bob and his wife raised a family of five daughters in Ohio. Aunt Maureen had three boys and one girl.  Ginger joined the Sisters of St. Joseph of Concordia and just recently celebrated 50 years with them. Uncle Jerry and his wife raised eight daughters.  So, with the families of Grandma and her brothers and sisters, I have several aunts, uncles, cousins, great aunts & uncles, and more cousins, etc. 

I consider myself very fortunate to have had and continue to have such a great relationship with my Grandma all of these years.  I’m so thankful for her and the positive impact that she has had on my life. I owe my interest in my family tree and genealogy to her.  She made sure that we knew our family history and origin. I am also grateful that I have gotten to know so many members of my extended family.  We made many trips down to Oklahoma for family reunions every year.   Those reunion trips were, and still are a blast!

I plan to blog more about that later.

I’ve been told by friends, family, coworkers, boyfriends, etc. that sometimes my expectations of myself and others can be too high. In my opinion, there is no such thing. 

I expect myself to keep my health and fitness as a high priority in life. But, I do understand that it is not healthy to stress and obsess over it 24-7. 

I serve as a volunteer in several organizations and I expect my fellow volunteers to at least do what they will say they will do and be held accountable for their responsibilities just as I would from a coworker or colleague.

On a more basic level, I expect good service…is that too much to ask? The gym that I work out at is super cheap…a lot cheaper than other gyms in the area, however, machines aren’t always in working order and the track isn’t swept on a regular basis.  I usually go to the gym first thing in the morning when they open for the day and yet I find empty paper towel dispensers, empty soap dispensers, etc. I complain and my friends tell me I have no right to complain because of how cheap it is. Really? I have no right to complain? I may not be paying much, but I’m still paying….

Anyway, I will get off of my soapbox now.